That I have too much of it. I don’t particularly enjoy shopping, but as far back as I can remember, I have always had a habit of buying little things — stationery, figurines, home decor — and they are never necessities or even useful possessions, but I buy them because they’re pretty and/or amusing in some way. But I don’t need any of these things.
I never buy big expensive things for myself because I tell myself that I don’t need to be excessive. However, what I’ve come to realise after all the days of packing over the last week is that I buy a lot of little inexpensive things. Somehow, it feels like that’s worse because I end up with more stuff that I don’t need instead of just one big expensive thing that I don’t need.
Packing has always been stressful for me because I cannot seem to differentiate between necessity and want. I am too sentimental for my own good. Many times, I look at something I own and I know that I don’t need it, but I reason with myself that it may be useful for something at some point, so it’s probably a good idea to keep it. So I basically end up keeping everything.
It would be easy to blame my parents, being the hoarders that they are — sorry, mom and dad, but you know it’s true — but it’s really not their fault that I am this way. Sure, they may have suggested to keep things rather than throw them away, but it’s always been my decision. In preparation for this move, I’ve given a lot of things away to other fellow hoarders and it actually feels really good to get rid of things.
Last night, I was looking at all my stuff and I just wanted to cry because there was just so much of it and I knew that there was absolutely no way that I was going to fit it into the luggage weight limit. Frankly, it’s ridiculous that my material possessions have such an effect on me. The other problem is that I am a master at procrastination and I admittedly left the sorting out and packing stuff to the last minute — I gave myself a week, when I really should have given myself a month since I clearly underestimated how much stuff I had.
Then, there are books. I love my books. Unfortunately, I need to accept that I can no longer buy them because they’re heavy and bulky and a complete hassle to keep transporting. I’ve been reading e-books for the last few months and it’s actually not so bad. I’ve always preferred reading an actual book to reading a screen, but reading a screen is more convenient and practical for me right now.
If I plan on relocating every year, this is most definitely not going to work. I think that until such a time that I’ve settled down somewhere and have decided to make a place my home, I should really stop buying stuff. I need to seriously rethink my spending habits. Many times, when I buy something, I reason that it’s small and doesn’t really weigh anything. True, but it all adds up when you do it a hundred times.
My chosen reading material for the wait at the airport tomorrow is, “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” by Marie Kondo, which, really, I should have started reading several months ago. Hopefully, it will help me in getting rid of my bad habits and finally reform me into a minimalist in time for my new home.
Back to packing.